Lost Love...

Tomorrow, 1st March 2009, would make exactly two months since we spoke… I still remember that sunny afternoon of 1st January 2009, when you had called up in the midst of your sleep and were curious to know whether I had reached home safely after the party that night… There was so much of care, concern, warmth and love in that voice of yours which made me feel simply so nice and special and cared for…


But since then till today, I have completely lost that voice, also that person, not only ths much but lost a very good friend who was and will always be close to me and has a very special in my life… my dearest… “….”… as I call him… Tears roll down my eyes as I think about this painful and antagonizing journey of just two months… which seems like a lifetime…!!!


Today, we have reached a point where we don’t talk, we don’t chat nor do we sms to the extent that you have also deleted me from your Friends list on social networking sites… I don’t know why this happened and till today I am trying to figure out why? What was the reason? We were so close till about two months back and today we are miles apart and this distance seems to be unbridgeable… Time and again the questions that keep coming to my mind are like; Are you in some kind of a problem? It could be personal, financial, office stuff, business not working out…??? Or is it that something went wrong on my part? At least tell me what wrong have I done so that I don’t keep feeling guilty all the time… The thought of we being apart keeps killing me day by day… And there will be a day when I would reach a point where I would realize that I am just breathing and not living… as I stopped living long back…!!!


I tried asking you so many times but you did not want to keep contact or you simply would not reply…Once I did manage to put up this question to you on chat and got a reply like “Nothing like that. It’s just that, I am to myself”… Those words are still ringing in my ears and that statement still lingering in my mind because I did not understand the underlying meaning behind it…


I am willing to do anything in this world that would make this relationship work once again like before but only if I knew what the problem was? I wish you told me my fault, life would have become a little easier, I would have at least come out of my guilt feeling… I thought we understood each other so perfectly… But maybe you never understood me, my feelings or my friendship… I cared for you and loved you unconditionally… and would continue to do so… I sincerely wish that I get you back one day… Whether you remember me or not, I will always remember you and keep wishing you and your family well… You will always be there in my good wishes and prayers… Wishing you and your family lots of love, happiness, joy, peace, prosperity & success in life…


Thoughts of you have always left a warm “smile” on my face but today it only brings “tears” in my eyes…


Last few words… from ME to YOU…
“I never stopped loving you; I just stopped showing it…”